


Smile For Me

by Homo_Parade



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Insecurity, JeanMarco Week, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 04:39:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1040435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Homo_Parade/pseuds/Homo_Parade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean hates the way he looks. He knows that there are better things to worry about than appearances, but the teasing was beginning to get to him. Little did he know, he had one fan of his looks, especially his smile…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile For Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first JeanMarco fic for JeanMarco week. I can;t guarantee a fic every day, since I have exams, but I definitely have most days planned out. The prompt for this one was 'Insecurity'.

Appearances aren’t important. Jean reminded himself of this every day when he looked in the mirror at the ‘horse-face’ he’d become accustomed to. He was particularly grumpy this morning, since his sleep was interrupted by Armin’s and Eren’s late-night ‘gossip sessions’. At least, that’s what they called it. The noises that came from that bed were far from innocent giggles however…

Jean believed his anger was justifiable. They had yet another day of training, a hard one at that, and he couldn’t sleep because of that shithead Eren. Jean gritted his teeth at the thought of him. Eren pissed him off so much he could just shatter this mirror… Jean took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down as he took another look in the mirror. Yep, those were definitely bags under his eyes.  Great, another thing to add to the pile of things Jean hated about himself.

The bags made him look older than just fifteen. Jean scowled at his eyes and concentrated on the rest of his face. The claims that he had a horse-face were quite accurate, though Jean would never admit that to anybody but himself. His face was long, and he looked rather dreary. Jean attempted a smile in the mirror before hastily turning away.

He hated his smile.

~*~

Marco sighed as he undid the straps on his legs. Another rough day of training. He could practically hear his bones creaking, he was so sore! Okay, that _may_ have been an over-exaggeration, but Marco was too tired to care if he sounded a bit whiney.

 “I swear you can hear my bones creaking,” Marco said to the other boy in the room as he finally got the strap of his belt undone. He dropped it haphazardly onto his bed.

 “I can hear them, old fart,” Jean teased from his position, sprawled out on his bed. He’d already gotten all of his straps off, since Marco helped him, but was too tired to even think of helping Marco with his.

 “Shut up horse-face,” Marco teased, but instead of a witty retort or even an angry scoff, Jean was silent. Marco glanced over to see an unusual sight; Jean actually appeared hurt by the comment. “I-I’m sorry Jean, I didn’t mean to offend you!” Marco apologised, abandoning his task to go check on Jean. He sat delicately on the side of the bed and leaned over to look at Jean’s face, but the shorter boy covered it with a pillow.

 “I don’t care,” It was a blatant lie from Jean. Marco had known him almost three years now; he knew enough to tell when Jean was lying. The fact that he couldn’t even look at Marc was a dead giveaway.

 “Jean, did I upset you by calling you horse-face? Because if it really upsets you, then you know I’ll stop,” Marco said quietly, trying to pry the pillow away.

Jean turned away from Marco and snorted.  “No, nothing _you_ say can upset me,”

He didn’t sound very convincing to Marco. “Jean, I know you’re lying,” he said, trying once trying to take the pillow from Jean. The younger boy just held on to it tighter.  “Jean!”

 “Okay, maybe just a bit…” Jean responded finally, letting go of the pillow so Marco could pull it from his face. He sat up, slightly embarrassed, as Marco scooted slightly closer

 “Do you want to talk about it?” The freckled boy asked, hugging the pillow close to himself and trying to keep eye-contact with Jean. The other teen continually averted his gaze, however.

 “I’m not a girl,” he said indignantly, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall behind the bed, “I don’t want to talk about my feelings!”

 “Well I don’t want to deal with a moody Jean,” Marco countered cheekily. When Jean didn’t respond-instead turning his whole face away-Marco added “Come on, just smile,”

 “I can’t,” Jean responded bitterly.

 “Why not? It’s easy, see?” Marco said before offering Jean a smile in demonstration. Jean just scoffed and looked down at his hands.

 “Easy for you…” He muttered.

 “Hmm?” Marco hummed, unable to pick up what Jean had said.

 “I said ‘it’s easy for you’, okay?” Jean growled. He saw how surprised Marco was by his sudden outburst, and sighed in frustration, standing from the bed and turning his back from the freckled boy. “You’re so much… better than me Marco, I mean all the girls love your freckled face, and then there’s me! Jean horse-face Kirschtein…”

Marco had to remind himself that Jean didn’t mean to be rude. His bitterness and hostility was not aimed at the freckled boy, more rather at himself…   “Jean…”

 “No, don’t say anything,” Jean said, his tone slightly calmer as he took deep breaths, “I know I’m being stupid, we got more important things to worry about than how we look,”

Marco frowned to himself. He wouldn’t pin Jean as someone who was insecure about their looks… “No Jean, it’s okay, everyone has little insecurities,” Marco said, taking a stand himself and placing the pillow down on the bed. He took a deep breath before saying the next part. “To tell you the truth I… I think you have a lovely smile,”

 “You’re bullshitting,” Jean said, forcing the stupid smile from his face. Of course he was; everyone else said he looked like a horse when he smiled, or did anything really…

 “No, when you smile your whole face lights up and you look really handsome,” Marco admitted, and it was all the genuine truth. Because Marco really did love the way Jean looked when he was genuinely happy.

Jean’s chest felt light and fluttery for some odd reason when he heard Marco’s words, and he struggled to not grin like a fool. “You mean like this?” He asked before flashing Marco a faux smile. It was by no means genuine, but it was a smile.

 “No, you look too cocky!” Marco chuckled quietly, walking over to stand in front of Jean, “Try a real smile,”

 “Pfft, I’d need a reason to smile like that,” Jean said. It was true; Jean didn’t smile for just _any_ reason. He needed a reason to smile, like when Mikasa actually talks to him, or when he beats up Eren. Or, and this was something Jean would never share, when Marco complimented him.

Marco wanted to see Jean smile, for real. It made him happy to see his friend happy… So Marco did the first thing that came to his mind. Before he could regret his decision, or process his decision at all, Marco closed the gap between their face

 “W-What was that for?” Jean asked, rather embarrassed, but there on his face was a big, goofy, genuine smile.

 “It made you smile, didn’t it?” Marco said so calmly, despite his raging nerves. What did he just do? He just kissed Jean! The other boys don’t kiss each other… right? Unless you count Reiner and Bertholdt, or Eren and Armin, but they’re childhood friends so it’s natural and wow Marco was looking into this way too much. He took a breath to calm down, but could feel his cheeks burning.

 “I guess so…” Jean responded, and his face was just as red as Marco’s. He felt so incredibly embarrassed by it all, but it wasn’t unpleasant… Damn it, Jean wasn’t going to think that kissing another boy was nice… was he?

 “See, you’re very handsome when you smile like that,” Marco said, chuckling slightly when Jean hid his face in his hands.

 “Sh-Shut up!” He stammered, but Marco took his hands away so they could see each other. And then Marco gave Jean a really stupid grin, and Jean laughed, and he kissed Marco back. That was when he realised that his horse-face didn’t matter; as long as he had Marco to make him smile, nothing mattered.

~*~

Marco gave Jean reasons to smile. Whether it was simple, like a really bad pun or a small peck on the lips, he always brought out a genuine smile from the slightly shorter and rather handsome young boy. Marco would complement him on an improvement on his theory work, or hold him back from beating up Eren and try to calm him down, and Jean would feel a smile form on his lips. He found himself more handsome, happier because of it. He smiled because of Marco, _for_ Marco. Marco was his happiness.

So, as Jean watched Marco’s half-eaten corpse burn in a pile, the body crackling away, the bones of their comrades becoming indistinguishable, he forgot what it meant to smile. He forgot comfort, and confidence, and everything that Marco gave him, because Marco was gone. Marco would not be there to make him smile, or remind him of all the ways he was perfect. Marco was the only person who could ever do that…

In the rest of Jean’s life, he smiled very rarely, but when his body was found after a particularly difficult expedition, his face bore the most serene smile anyone had seen on him. Despite the pain of losing a comrade, Eren, Armin, Mikasa and the gang felt a little better, because seeing Jean smile again let them know that he was with Marco. And he was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow what an ending haha don't worry I won't make every JeanMarco I write depressing...


End file.
